(written: Jan 30, 2009)

I was idealistic and I think as I grew older and hopefully wiser I started to become more realistic instead. *Today, was not the usual perfect day for anyone nor for me if you’d have to measure it through my meter of perfection.

But I think this was actually a great day, because today, I felt like myself. I felt like having the most sincere smile and most sincere of anything that people can get from me—kind words, hugs, kisses, love.

I didn’t need to pretend I am smarter, prettier or better than anyone else. I didn’t also need to hide what I can do and will do to get my dreams.

It felt good to not hide the smile, it felt good to not keep myself from laughing so hard. It felt good to just listen to how my heart feels even if it’s not love.

I haven’t had enough sleep for 2 days/nights. But I can smile. I can see the good things in life and I feel like waking to another great day in a few hours.

*today my car got hit by an L300 van but it’s also the same day I realized again that I love my dad more than any other man in the whole world.