(written: April 29, 2006)

I don’t know why I ended up violating my own rules.  I vowed never to care for any new person or stranger in my life and promised never to expect more than companionship and mere existence in the same world.

Why?—because it is inevitable.  People will disappoint and hurt you no matter how you respect and care for them.  I can never dictate how they should feel and definitely how they should look at me. 

I don’t expect anything in return. I ended up violating my rules for apathy and I blame myself for the pain that it had caused.

***

I won’t beg for anyone to respect me.  I demand it. Respect me.  Because I deserve it in every way and for all the reasons that I could think of.

Respect me. If you can’t, then it is better not to let me let you in, in my world.

***

We all have the right to freedom but someone’s rights end when he steps into mine and others.  If we live by our own rules and disregard other people’s values, then we might as well live on our own.

***

Friendship is not about using people at our advantage.  It is about allowing ourselves to become better people because we’ve known that there are people who are different from us. 

***

I handle things emotionally.  That’s how I am.  That’s who I am.  Every little thing that makes up my life involves my emotions.  I deal with things through my heart but that doesn’t mean I am weak and stupid.  

***

Disappointments caused me pain and not anger.

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