(written: Jun 13, 2008)

Have you ever felt that you want to be alone…sometimes? Just to check if you still know yourself. And to verify if the person you see everyday in the mirror is still who you are.

I do—I want to be alone. To talk to myself, to just simply say hello, stare hard and take a mental picture of every inch of who I see.  Because I’ll never know, maybe I might change tomorrow or the next day.  I want to remember who I am today and in every single day that I live.  Because everyday, different people take different parts of me with them. Some people give it back with so much more in return and some people just break me into pieces…taking parts of me that I can never get back.

I am bits and pieces, glued together by people who remain to understand and love me.  There are parts of me that some people have broken, but I remain whole, a person that shattered into pieces but was never destroyed. 

I want to be alone to put myself together and to feel that my dreams are still with me. I want to be alone to see myself outside of myself so I can learn from the pain other people inflicted on me and to learn from my own mistakes.

Solitude is bliss. It allows us to feel the moment and know ourselves a bit more. It allows us to cry without judgment, pain and anger.  It allows us to go back into the past or dream of the future.  It allows us to believe in everything.  It allows us to understand ourselves more and the world we live in.

I’ll be alone today, even for just a second. Alone so I can be with myself, a moment with the only person whose heart I listen to and believe in.

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