(written: Nov 19, 2007)

Urgh!!! I waited today! Yes in a strange and desperate kind of way. I waited for you to come and see me even if I knew you weren’t coming for me nor waiting for me the same way. A bit crazy but I just like seeing you—it brings back the so-cold feeling of having butterflies in your stomach and smiling when there’s no reason at all. Actually I don’t really miss you; it’s the feelings that come along whenever I see you. Because in my mind I think of you as the perfect, sweet, smart guy. But hey, I’ll never know. You could be married with kids and a pregnant wife or you could be boring and nonsense.

But heck, why did you smile at me?! Why did you smile when I decided that you’ll just be another nameless stranger that I see every night? Heck, I like that smile and I like remembering that smile. I don’t know why I waited. Buy maybe I want to know if you’d like to see me smile too. (Keeping this because it’s so darn funny!!!!, Aug 2, 2011)

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