you lost me but not my heart.

my heart stays with you.

up to this day.

at this very moment.

as long as it beats this way–

 

happily crying for each day that passes without a single answer

sincerely hoping tomorrow you’ll wake up and find the courage to decide

desperately praying to end this game unscarred

 

you lost me but not my heart.

because my heart doesn’t know how to despise or give up.

my heart is strong and brave, while I

can only stay honest and reasonable for now.

 

i want you to understand

although there’s no way to make you…

that i don’t despise you for anything that you are

i despise this game

 

i hate subjecting myself to this kind of torture

i hate incessantly waiting for you every second of every day

i hate feeling these feelings are mutual and i hate realizing they are not.

i am not a fool nor is my heart.

don’t make me feel this way.

don’t make me hope anymore.

don’t make my heart beat this way for long.

 

i don’t want to think that you hurt me or that I hurt you

i’d like to believe that whatever could have been is everything wonderful for the both of us

i’d like to remember you as someone who weirdly makes me smile during unexpected moments

every vein in my heart is screaming to give this a second chance or wait a little bit more or claim that i am indeed ‘her’

 

but i’m tired.

i am not this woman.

i deserve to know.

i deserve honesty.

i deserve someone who would not despise his feelings for me.

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